Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Essay #7

Hi assalamualaikum :)

this is a story i wrote just for fun. hope you like it :)

"Here, I want you to have this"

"?? A letter?"

"Uh huh. Um, I better go. Take care, Fakhri."

Eh wait! That was it? Me, going out with Erika Abdullah was just for a two minutes conversation? Erika really did change. Change for the better. Hmm. I still remember the first time I set eyes on her beautiful Caucasian face, her golden hair. She was an outsider, of course. None of my schoolmates had the resemblance of her appearance. Regardless of her weirdness, I fell in love with her. I know it was so wrong. The thought of her not being a Muslim sank my heart in dilemma. Two different religions were never meant to be together. And along with the fact, I tried to bury my desire for her love. Plus, I was two years ahead of her. Soon, I would be leaving her, I thought. But no matter how hard I tried, sometimes I still thought about her, sometimes I still had the urge to make her the queen of my heart.

         The angels seemed like they were on my side. After the SPM result were announced, I had the opportunity to further my study at Curtin University, Australia. To my astonishment, Erika followed my footsteps two years later. The feeling of homesick tied us-the Malaysian students together, creating a strong bond between each other. and of course, I seized this chance to get to know Erika. What shocked me the most was the fact that she is a Muslim all along. The boundary that seemed hard to overcome was just a simple misunderstanding. Without delaying any minutes, I confessed to Erika. I told her that I had been loving her from the very moment I saw her and I was not able to tell her about this feeling earlier for I was afraid of rejection because of our differences. Erika paused for a minute before saying yes. And she said that she too, had the same feeling toward me. Our love story then began.

           We were the happiest and sweetest couple living on earth. Everybody talked about how we complete each other and how the were green with envy with our fairytale-like-relationship. Life was like a bed of roses during those times. I had found my missing puzzle piece and Erika stated that I was another half of her life. We fantasized about how we were going to lead a wonderful life together through one sacred bond, marriage. We dreamt of loving each other for the rest of our senior life, till death do us part. We went out on a date like normal couples did. We always dressed up on Halloween looking like Barbie and Kent. And although we were Muslims, we celebrated Valentine's Day like most lovebirds in campus did. I was her Valentine and she was my loyal companion.

              But after three years going out, Erika started to change. After the three years of sparkle, Erika was never the same and the story of us looked like it was the end. I hated the difference but I knew it was the best for her. Erika started covering her aurah properly, she went to the mosque to pray and she avoided talking to boys when there were no necessities. Her change made me upset for I was not able to be her best buddy anymore but ironically, my heart grew fonder towards her. Most important, I started to change too. After years leaving my obligation towards my religion, I started learning back about how to perform my prayers. I repented. I cried almost every night for a week, regretting my sin. But I knew, everyone deserved a second chance. If Erika could have a new life, why couldn't I? I thought. And so I changed. 

              Before I knew it, it was time to leave the land of Down Under and headed back to Malaysia. As for my relationship with Erika, we stayed as friends and rarely met. But last night she rang me and asked if we could meet. Now here I was, on my bed, after the two minutes talk we had had. Slowly I opened her letter........

Dear Fakhri,

           How are you doing? I surely miss the time we had together. I'm sorry that I could not be your girl anymore. I think this is the best fir both of us.


          I never told you this before but now, I want to let it all out. I want you to understand my condition. I want you to know the reason I changed.

          Since I was a baby, my family and I lived in America. My Papa had a company there. We lived our life with no religion as guidelines. We were atheist. But six years ago, Papa decided that our family needed changes. With zero knowledge about Islam, we converted and tried to live our life as real Muslims. Things were difficult for us at first. Our new lifestyle no longer fit for the United States. I could no longer party, hang out with my boyfriends and girlfriends, and I missed prom, the most important night for a teenage girl. In search of a more condusive Islamic environment, Papa found Malaysia. Using his savings, he opened another company here. We moved to Malaysia with our new identity. Papa as Abdullah, Mama as Ameena, me, Christine as Erika and my twin siblings as Zara and Adam. We left America with no regret and hoped for the best from this country.

             But I was stunned when I first laid my eyes on the scenery of Malaysia. "Where are the characteristic of Eastern people?" I asked myself. Papa was very disappointed at that time. Just imagine, he was outcasted  by his family after converting into Islam. And when we reached here, he found nothing! The whole family almost gave up being Muslims. Luckily, Mama, being the toughest among us, said that we have chosen this new path and life, must go on. Still, my family live on without no guide. We were too, somehow, afraid to ask local people about religion. We were scared of the impression towards people like us.


         Indeed, there is light at the end of the tunnel. After six years living in uncertainty, I met Izyan. And that, was my call. My shopping cart bumped into hers when I was buying groceries with Mama. The first time I set my eyes on her, I knew she was different. So I asked for her phone number and asked for her to guide me, lead me through the correct path. Thank God, she was willing to help my family to get to know Islam more. I knew by then, Allah had sent me His "nur". Izyan came from family with strong religion background. Her mother taught me how to recite the Quran, and to pray, and all the sunna. She taught me to be a better "an-nisa". That was my turning point. I'm sorry I did not tell you a bit about this, I guess I'm afraid of what you will react. Sorry again.

         By the way, I heard that your father will send you to Canada to further your study. All the best to you, my darling Fakhri. As for me, I have my own mission. I will fulfil my childhood fantasy, to save the world. They were reports on terrorist and I have decided to be one of the volunteers. And if you still love me even after you finished your studies abroad, in the name of Allah, ask my hand in marriage. I'll be waiting for you. Till next time, take care. Uhibbukafillah, Fakhri. 

as salam, 
Erika Christine.

           The end. Sigh. I miss my girl.

"If you still love me even after you finished your studies abroad, in the name of Allah, ask my hand in marriage."

          That's it! I will! I will propose Erika, but only after I finished my studies. I promised to myself that I would do my bets in Canada, so that I could provide a bright future for Erika and our family. 2021, I left Malaysia for Canada. During the first year, I still kept in touch with Erika through the internet. But later she went busy with her volunteering works so I thought it would be better if I stopped bothering her. I also gave her my words that I would be counting the days for us to meet again. Days, months, and years gone by. After three years struggling, I managed to finish my Masters. Erika, I'm coming home :)

          What awaits for me in Malaysia was beyond my wildest imagination. 

"She had been in coma for three months already. She was fighting and struggling hard to save the Muslims. When she was out of energy, the terrorist caught her. She was, she was..........."

         Aunt Ameena fainted without finishing her sentence, leaving me in full anxiety. What had happened? Zara, Erika's sister came and explain that Erika had been crucified and then beaten with a whip heartlessly.  The doctor said that she would not make it. God have mercy. Zara then took me to Erika's ward. Seeing her lying hopelessly broke my heart, and my dream shattered into pieces. I neared the pallid body.

"Erika? I'm back. I've finished my studies. Now, we can get married. Just like we planned. Please wake up, Erika. Don't do this to me...."

Tears and silence.

"Erika! You've promised that you would wait for me, right? Don't break your promise now, please. You know how you urge me to live my dream, to have my Masters finished so that I can be what I wanted to be? Well, I lived my student's life thinking about you, about us! You are my intrinsic motivation, you are my dream, Erika! Don't leave me, please....."

         I was drowned in my own emotion when I heard someone calling my name. A familiar voice, a voice that I have been missing for so long. Erika?

"I, I tried to help them. I want... to find my Muslim side... by fighting for the Muslims... But I can't... I'm not... not tough enough... "

"No, stop! You need to rest, please don't talk much... "

"You need... to listen to this, Fakhri... I want you... to continue... to save them... Will you? I love you until Janna... Uhibukafillah, Fakhri..."

"Erika! Erika!"

           Doctors rushing in, sobbing were heard and the air was chaotic. But the only feeling I felt was emptiness. Erika had left the world. My Erika. 

"Hey Erika, do you still love me?..."

"Of course I do, Fakhri. But I'm trying hard to love Allah more. And I hope you love Allah more than you love me too. So that if I die, you have Allah to give all your love to :) "

"What are you talking about? I don't like to hear that kind of thing coming out of your mouth..."

"Fakhri, everyone knows that death is certain. But one thing I know for sure, I want to be the girl who died in search of Allah. Hee..."

            Erika. The girl who died in search of Allah. Rest in peace. Uhibbukifillah, Erika.


"Mama, what kind of diary is this? Your Uncle Fakhri is so weird, Ma. Huh? I know Ma, I know! So that's why he was so happy in his sleep yesterday. He's going to meet Erika! Maybe that's why you said he is never coming back. Hmm..."

"That's Aunt Erika for you, young lady. And you' re right. Aunt Erika is waiting for him in Janna..."

"Aww, so sweet! When I grow up, I want to have my love story as sweet as your Uncle Fakhri's. Can I. Mama?"

"Yes, you can, dear. Whatever you say."

             And they both smiled.

fuhh. letih oo nak taip essay ni. malas dah nak check typo. hehe. by the way, ni essay yang nawwar tulis lepas baca novel VT-Hilal Asyraf. penangan novel islamik. siap berangan nak elaborate lagi pastu nak jadikan novel pastu nak hantar kat syarikat penerbitan. heh. angan semata. cuti empat bulan tak buat apa2 pun still takde progress. kalau baca balik banyak gila kekurangan essay ni. tak detail, kabur. macam2 la. tapi tuan tanah malas dah nak edit. hehe

Happy Reading And Have A Nice Day ^^


miss fifi said...

such an interesting essay :3 have been thinking bout doing the same thing since forever but then laziness keeps holding me back lol

AinNawwar said...

haha. tu la kan. proscrastination at its best. wee!

Fatini Adlina said...

so touching~~
it's absolutely amazing :D
keep up the good work!!

I haven't been able to write anything for quite some time already..

no ideas for a new story, huhu

AinNawwar said...

thanks Tini. nawwar nak sangat tulis essay yg mampu buat org nangis tp tu la, malas nak menulis. huhu.

yeke? nawwar ada idea tp malas nk elaborate, nak taip. huhu